Without question one of the most controversial discussions you will ever have in the opinionated world of dungeons and dragons, or role-playing in general is about how to be a great DM.  In fact, if you google “how to be a great DM” you are going to find link after link after link of “politically correct” advice, always structured carefully as to not say something that might upset someone.  It’s a really strange thing among D&D gamers that this is such a sensitive subject, where opinions are criticized and people are quick to accuse you of being a Gronard or worse.  In fact, most advice you will find is so general, its too obvious to be of any use to a new DM or a DM having issues trying to get his head around a problem in his game.  The advice tends to be something along the lines of “there is no wrong way”, or “everything you’re doing is great”.

There are however fundamentals of good DMing, many of these fundamentals you will hear a lot of people speak out against because they are generally very… well lets just say, harsh.   DMing a game is both fun and a responsibility, at least if your intention is to ensure quality of the game.  The concept of “just have fun” is important, but games tend to derail even if you are just having fun when not approached with a firm hand and plan.  DM’s will defend this idea of this “all inclusive, there is no wrong way” approach, to which I always pose the question do you want to be right, or do you want to have a good game?

Before I start I do want to say one important thing here, perhaps the most controversial thing of all.  In my not so humble opinion there are many right ways and  many wrong ways to be a DM!  There I said it and I have 30+ years of DMing experience and the battle scars to prove it.    What are the right ways?  Well that is what today’s advice article is all about.  The gloves are coming off and we are going to do this straight up, honest and without the political correctness filter often associated with such advice.

The DM is ALWAYS right, the social contract

The basics of running a game as a DM is that you must establish the standard social contract between you, the DM and your players.  This social contract is sometimes made  to be complex, or not at all both very terrible approaches.  Its quite simple in reality and absolutely vital to establish before your first session to ensure you start off on the right foot, in particularly with a new group.

The basics here are this.  D&D and any other RPG is a game, but unlike board or card games, the boundaries for the rules are not clearly defined, in fact, they are very intentionally made vague and left up for interpretation in many places.  The reason for this is that in the course of an RPG session, player’s (aka characters) will come up with all sorts of crazy ideas about “stuff they want to do” and no rule set could ever efficiently cover every conceivable scenario and activity.   You won’t find answers to most questions posed by players in the book, such a ruleset would be thousands of pages long.  That said, as a DM it’s not your job to dictate what players can try or can’t try, its your job to give them the results.  Which means you must always find a way to rule over the game, no matter how nutty the scenario’s are, you simply cannot say “no” you can’t do that, the correct answer is always “ok, here is what happens”.

The core of the social contract is that someone at the table must decide the results of these actions and that someone is the Dungeon Master, the nominated referee of the game, the translator of the rules and the manager of the game.

The social contract is basically an understanding and acceptance of the DM to be the authority on resolving the activities of the players.  Another words, they tell the DM what they “want to do” and the DM gives them “the result”.  That result is not up for debate, its not up for negotiation, its a ruling made by the DM and accepted by the players, this IS the social contract everyone must sign (figuratively speaking).  The social contract empowers the DM to be always right.

This social contract is something the players must go into willingly, another words, this isn’t about a player at the table taking power and being a tyrant, nor is it an assumption that he is the most qualified person to have this authority or that he is (actually) always right, but rather an understanding that someone has to decide what happens when a player says “I jump on his head and stab him in the eye”, and there is no space in the game to debate it.  There is no rule for that, someone must determine what happens, what rules might be used or what rolls might be used to determine the success  and someone must decide what actually happens narratively as a result of all that.

Consider that there may be potentially 6 players at the table with a wide range of opinions on what “should” happen, and they may even be more logical than what the DM proposes, they might even know the rules better than the DM.  You could spend time debating it, hell you could spend your entire day making arguments about it, debating it and discussing it.  The social contract empowering the DM to make the call is vital to ensuring you focus on the game, rather than debating its rules/mechanics/results endlessly piece by piece or the merits of the DM’s decision or narration.   Its a contract designed to prevent constant hard stops to the action of the game, but more than anything to keep the game moving forward without a lot of out of character discussion.

The social contract says “The DM decides and we accept whatever decision he makes”, aka, the DM is always right!

What will inevitably happen if you do not clearly define this social contract with your players is that you open your decisions, interpretations of the rules and narrations to debate and negotiation.  Each and every one of them.  You give an inch and they will take the whole arm.  Your players will become more and more challenging over time, in particular if they win negotiations and sway your decisions, setting the precedence that you can be swayed.  Before you know it, every-time you open your mouth, someone will have an opinion about what should come out of it.   It’s physically not possible to have a successful game in the long run without this social understanding between the players and their DM.  Do yourself, your players and your game a favor and establish this social contract firmly on day one of any campaign.

Always in the present, never allow the testing of waters

First, lets define what Testing the water means, in short, it works like this.

The player tells the DM what he wants to do, when you give him the results, he says “oh in that case I don’t do that”.

Alternatively and perhaps even more grievously is the DM version.

The players tells the DM what he wants to do, then the DM says “IF you do that, this will happen”, giving the player an opportunity to change his mind and back out of the action.

I can’t think of a more destructive thing a DM can do to a game than allow the testing of waters to become a precedent in his game.  This really is the shortest route to ruin that you can take.  What it really does to a game is that players will know the results of their actions before they take them, the exact opposite of what role-playing is.

As a DM you are doing your players a disservice and being firm and setting a precedence for running the game in real time is the most effective way to keep your game on track and in the present, putting the players in a position that they must listen, absorb the information and use it to make decisions knowing that whatever they decide, is now part of the game.  It really is one of those subtle keys to success.

The advice here is simple.  NEVER tell your players what is going to happen until its happening/happened.  Another words, don’t tell them the future, describe the present.  If a player poses a testing the water question, the answer is always the same.  “Tell me what you want to do and I will tell you what happens”.  A players action can’t be an inquiry to find out what would happen “if” he decides to do something.

Fear & Anticipation makes it real

There is a very common antidote in play writing and storytelling,  “tragedy makes the best story,  everything else is just noise”.  The reason this antidote exists is because as human beings we have a natural empathy for tragedy.  A tragedy is a motivation for hope, inspiration to rise from the darkness, a way to sympathize with our characters and a way to put ourselves in the shoes of the afflicted.  You cannot triumph unless you have something to triumph over.

This is why I always say that all good D&D adventures, are the stories of heroes who die tragically while saving the world.

I feel very strongly that as a good DM you must constantly present the players with challenges which if failed would result in their characters deaths.  The more tragic that death, the more memorable the story of it will be.  In short, don’t be afraid to kill characters and be merciless with their emotions when doing so, give them the tragedy.

This advice really pisses against the wind of D&D logic and design.  In a sense, the game mechanically is designed to ensure that the players always face balanced encounters and there are so many “save me” mechanics in the system that to die is really just a statistical anomaly.  This is a good thing, because you don’t want to kill characters by the mechanics, but rather by their decisions.  You want to make sure that when you kill a character, it can be traced back to a decision a player made.  A choice he had that lead him to his death, not a random encounter, die roll or some other form of “bad luck”.

Death should never be random, nor a concoction of the DM, but it should always be a surprise linked to choice and it should always be a heartbreaking event.  The design of a campaign should always include points at which characters lives are at risk, a risk they chose themselves,  the rest of the time events should be balanced in the favor of the players. The more of these events there are, the better.   Above all else however when the time comes, don’t hesitate, when a characters ends up in a situation where his death is inevitable, make it harsh, abrupt… make it tragic, dig into their emotions, give them no refuge or hope, force them into acceptance, give them the emotion their characters death deserves.

If you do this right you will create a permanent state of fear and anticipation for the rest of the players and all new characters that join the campaign.  Everyone will know that you don’t “save” characters, that death of characters is a real possibility, that it could come at any time and their actions and decisions drive that engine, not luck.  This is KEY to running a great D&D campaign, without it you will find your campaigns are always missing some intangible quality, this is what is missing!

Time is not an issue, unless it is an issue

One very common mistake DM’s make, or perhaps better to say, one common sentiment DM’s have is that “their players are taking too long” or “They are wasting time”.  Another words, you have written a adventure, campaign or story and you want to get to it, but your players seem to be doing everything but just that.  Frustrated you steer the session towards the story, skipping over less important scenes, railroading through parts of the story and events and driving the game to where you want it to be.

This is a terrible, habit that you must break.  The reality of an RPG session is that its the story of the characters.  Who they are, how they act, what they believe, what they think, who they know, how they interact with the world and what they love and hate.  Those attachments, emotions and drive does not appear in the story nor can it be artificially created, it happens outside of it and this is a really hard thing for DM’s to get their heads around.  You only fully understand it as a player.

The reality is that those half a session tavern crawls where the characters get drunk and make asses out of themselves are often even more important to the games story, than whatever grand scheme you have invented for the campaign.  They might be on a mission to stop a powerful necromancer from opening the gates to hell, but if you don’t make time to let them live in the world they are saving, the story of how they save it becomes less relevant.

Allowing the characters to become friends in character, allowing them to get to know the local tavern keeper, befriend the local blacksmith or marry the local milk maid may seem irrelevant, but it drives attachments to the world and to their characters, as a result are absolutely vital to the main plot, in most cases even more so than the main plot itself.

Allow your players to take the time from the session to role-play these moments with the same gusto you put into your main campaign events.  Make sure that they can explore the world and give them the time to do it.  Only when the players see it as a waste of time should you approach the game with more progress driven thinking.  Time is only an issue, if they make it an issue, but as a DM you should never “skip” anything the players want to take the time to get involved in.  Another words you are DMing a game at the pleasure of your players.  Your opinion about what they are and aren’t doing, frankly, has no relevance, you are the least important member of the adventuring party.  Make peace with that.

Prepare to be unprepared

Most veteran DM’s will spot this very general advice and nod their heads in sad agreement but the reality of DMing is that generally speaking, most preparation you do for a session will be wasted.  True preparation is about knowing the world and knowing it well, realizing that its the world not the adventure that you must have ready for whatever the players throw at it and that much of an actual adventure you will have to invent on the fly no matter how much you prepare.

While less controversial advice, perhaps not at all, one thing I can say about what I see in terms of preparation by most DM’s is a rather silly focus on trying to steer a session into a particular place, while being completely ill prepared for when the players inevitably derail the whole thing.  Don’t do this.  Its good to always have read (if you haven’t written) any material in preparation for a session but always know going into it that not only will the players likely completely skip over, avoid and derail it, but that its ok and you can’t give the appearance of not being ready for that, nor is it appropriate for you to steer them into it against their will.

From the perspective of the players, everything that happens should appear to be totally planned and expected.  Never let the players realize that they are off the rails, they should always feel like “they are onto something”.  Its in particularly important when they are dead wrong, when a decision is a horrible mistake that will cost them dearly.  If they think the idea is brilliant you should absolutely not steer them away from it.  Bad decisions are a key part of the game and you have to let them make these mistakes and suffer the consequences without them ever having any clue how far off they are from the material you intended for them.  This is a vital component of making the world feel real, vibrant and giving the players a sense of control over their own destiny’s, which notably will often lead them to tragedy, another key element of a good story.

Don’t take breaks from campaigns, make it a religion

This can be really tough advice to follow, real life is a pain and it’s not always possible to have a steady game going but the truth is that a successful campaign is reliant on the commitment of the DM and the players to play regularly with a established time and place.  Typically once a week is ideal, you can get away with once every other week but anything longer than that and people will be having trouble remembering events, people and places in-between session and you will not be able to maintain that “attachment” to the game that is necessary to run a solid, story that maintains cohesion over several sessions with built up personal attachments.

After 30 years of playing D&D, I have been involved in countless campaigns and the only successful ones I have ever been a part of have always been ones with a steady, weekly session with all participants being able to make the large majority of the games.  Everything else pretty much fell apart in relative short order.   I’m convinced steady, regular sessions are absolutely mandatory to the success of a D&D campaign.

When you are establishing your group and you are planning a D&D campaign, if you can’t get everyone to commit on this level my suggestion is that you create, shorter, unrelated 1 night adventure style games rather than trying to run a linked long term campaign.  D&D is always fun, even if sporadic, but as a DM you don’t want to put in a lot of effort if the end result is a campaign that flounders as a result of extended breaks between sessions.  It’s frustrating as a hell, and ultimately deflates your enthusiasm for future games with a sense of in-completion.  If at the end of a night, the story is done, even if you don’t revisit those characters again, their isn’t this looming sense of failure around the game, opening the doors to future stories with enthusiasm.

There is advantage to one shots to in that each time you do it, the players are treated to new plot twists, characters and locations which is always a fun piece of starting new campaigns.  In a sense with one shot you are starting a new campaign each time you play.

Tough DM’s are Good DM’s

I saved perhaps my most controversial advice for the last I’m going to leave you with but I firmly believe it to be the single most true statement about running games as a DM that applies to all groups everywhere.  The only good DM is a firm, tough DM that gives no quarter and is always in command of the game.

It takes a strong personality, good handle on the rules, effective philosophy and zero tolerance for bullshit to be a good DM. If that doesn’t describe you, my advice is either to develop those skills as quickly as possible, fake them if you have to or resign from the position and let someone else DM.

Players, even good ones, including friends and family, pretty much everyone you might expect or not expect to will try to pull the wool over your eyes during a D&D game.  Some will argue with you, try to rules lawyer you, manipulate you, whine, bitch and moan and everything in-between.  Some of it will be subtle, some of it not so subtle and truth be told, this is all very normal.  Chalk it off to human nature.

None the less you will have to deal with it all and as a DM it’s your responsibility to be the firm authority and handle every situation quickly and effectively, not only for the preservation of the game, but as a courtesy to the other players at the table.

In a D&D game there is no room for “issues” and really there shouldn’t be any, after all, everyone is there to have fun, its a social activity, this is not a competitive sport.  Still D&D is a game that will pull the emotion out of players, this is a good thing, but with that passion for the game and for the story, will sneak out bits and pieces of that human condition that can create uncomfortable situations and issues. Its here the DM’s authority and decisive action is vital to maintain a good game and keep things in a happy place.

The advice is simple.  Be firm, be an authority and nip the bullshit in the butt quickly and effectively.  Give no quarter, accept no compromise, be vigilant about growing problems in the group and don’t hesitate to make changes if things are not progressing in a way everyone at the table enjoys.  This is really less advice and more a responsibility every DM has and it is perhaps the toughest to follow given that every person at the table is going to be a friend or relative.  Be a strong, firm DM, that’s the best advice I can offer anyone.

Conclusion

Being a DM is a lot of fun, for many, its the only way to play D&D as some of us are simply bursting for an outlet for our creativity and the idea of just being a player is to stifling.  Despite all the creativity and joy being a host to a story brings, there are plenty of things that can go wrong and I believe unequivocally that having a strong philosophy and applying good methods is absolutely vital to success.  DM’s fail all the time at producing their visions but most of the time its not a lack of creativity that destroys their efforts, but rather the little meta details, that approach to the process of running a game that creates the most problems.

Every DM eventually develops their own methods, often they are unique but if you really research the success story’s, really listen to DM’s experiences you will find that there are definitive conclusions you can draw to certain pitfalls they are all trying to avoid.  Much of the advice offered here is really designed around those pitfalls and though I haven’t named them all by name, if you follow this advice you will find it easy to avoid the vast majority of problems that rise up as a DM hosting a game.

Above all other advice however I can say that the key is to make sure you are enjoying it.  A happy DM is a good DM, you can never be a successful DM if you don’t love doing it and its hard to imagine a DM failing if he loves what he does.    Surround yourself by friends, take your time with the creative process, be patient with your players and always keep an eye out for those subtle pitfalls by being prepared to deal with them long before they rear their ugly head and you will always find success as a DM.  Have fun out there!